I was reading the passage of John 20:24-29 the other morning and i found myself deeply identified with the Apostle Thomas:
Now Thomas (also known as Didymus[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” – John 20:24,25
How many times do we find ourselves like Thomas, becoming doubting disciples?
Doubting the Lord’s plan and the Lord’s path when we’ve already seen what He’s done on the past, Why?
Well our minds can have such a finite vision at times,
Ones that solely focuses on what’s ahead of us and how big our mountains seem be that our doubts or our adversaries but that forgets what the Lord has already carried us through.
And then once we realize how short our vision has been we can sometimes fear coming to our savior, sometimes because of shame and others cause sometimes we lack the belief that he is bigger than it all
But here’s the secret friends,
Jesus is not afraid of our doubts, he has never been.
A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” 2Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” – John 19:26-282
When Thomas was filled with doubt Jesus did not cast Him aside, He did not belittle Him
Instead he met Thomas right where he was at, in the middle of His fear and in the midlle of His pain, and all he ask him wa sthat we would believe.
He is not afraid of our questions, our fears, our anger, or our concerns
On the contrary He is willingly there, alway ready to listen and comfort us through it all.
He is bigger than all our questions, fears and pain and fills all the gaps we could ever think of or imagine.
He walks with out through our every point of doubt, every step where our forgetful heart overlooks the footprints He has already left behind us as He has carried us through it all.
This is something that the Lord has been re-teaching me recently, the fact that I never have to be afraid to run to him, that He is always ready to embrace any questions i may have, that he is more powerful than my doubts and that He is in control through it all.
All I have to do is call on him an let myself be carried
Let us be disciples that run to Jesus always, and even so more when we are confused and afraid;
who because of His love can love other beyond the human condition.
Love Beyond The Human Condition 
Hey Linda!
I appreciated that you mentioned how the Lord isn’t afraid or thrown off by our questions or our doubt. Although I want to acknowledge the fact that I will experience doubt, I also want to learn how to doubt my doubts – to acknowledge them but to press in towards truth even more. The Lord is so kind and gracious towards us – thank you for the reminder that He is a good Father who knows what we need before we even ask and knows what we will confess before we even come to Him. May our emotions and our doubts lead us to press into truth, but may they never dictate the truth of who He is and who we are in Him!!
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Linda, this subject of doubt is such an important topic churches don’t really talk about. I loved what you had to say. My favorite line you wrote was: “He is bigger than all our questions, fears and pain and fills all the gaps we could ever think of or imagine.” The fact that he fills our gaps and meets us where we are is incredible to me. No other religion has a God who does that. It just reflects God’s loving and caring character and also his justice as he seeks to give all a chance to choose to follow him, even when we doubt. Amazing!
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